12 long-distance date ideas that aren't another video call
A video call is a conversation, not a date. A date is when you do something together and come away with a little shared story. Here are twelve ways to do that from two different places, most of them free.
What makes a good long-distance date
- A shared thing to look at. Talking is easier when you both have something in front of you: a picture, a recipe, a sky.
- Something left behind. The best dates leave a souvenir: a drawing, a playlist, a plan. Something you can both point to next week.
- It fits your time zones. If your evenings don't overlap, pick a date you can do in turns instead of forcing a 2 a.m. call.
Make something together
A note: ideas 1 and 10 use PixyPlace, which we make. Everything else works with whatever you already have.
1 Paint one pixel picture together
Open a drawing room on PixyPlace, pick a picture from the gallery (a cottage, a lake at sunset, a balloon) or turn one of your own photos into pixel art, and paint it together while you talk. You each see the other's pixels appear live, and you can split the work: one does the sky, one does the house. When you finish, you see how close you got to the original, and you have a picture you made together.
2 Draw each other, then swap
Set a timer for ten minutes and draw a portrait of each other from the video, or from memory. Hold them up at the same time. Nobody is allowed to be good at this, which is exactly why it's fun.
3 Make a playlist of your week
Each of you adds five songs that sum up your week, without explaining them. Then listen to each other's picks and guess why each song made the list.
The same thing, in two places
4 Order each other dinner
Each of you orders a delivery to the other's door, without saying what. Open them together on a call. It's a small surprise and a shared meal at once.
5 A walk with earphones in
Go outside at the same time and call with earphones in. Describe what you see, send a photo of anything interesting, and pick a place to "meet": the next bench, a bakery, a bridge.
6 Swap a film the other has never seen
Each of you picks a film that matters to you and that the other has never seen. Press play together and keep a chat open for reactions. Next week, swap.
7 Look at the same moon
Even in different cities, you see the same moon. Pick a clear night, step outside, and talk about it while you both look up. A free sky-map app lets you find the same stars, too.
Surprise each other
8 "Open when" letters
Write a few short letters labelled "open when you miss me", "open when you can't sleep", "open when you get good news", and post them in one envelope. They keep working long after they arrive.
9 A mini adventure in their city
Send them to a café near them with a drink you've paid for in advance, then to a park bench with a voice message to play there. Planning a date for someone else's city is a lovely way to learn it.
Slow dates for different time zones
10 A world you add to before bed
On PixyPlace you share one small world and each get a little ink that refills every 10 minutes. Add a few pixels before you sleep; when your person wakes up, a short replay shows them what you painted. It turns "good night" and "good morning" into a date that never has to end.
11 One line a day in a shared note
Keep a shared note where you each write one line about your day. Read the other's line with your morning coffee. In a month you'll have a small diary of your life apart.
12 Plan the next visit
Make a shared map and each pin three things to do together next time: a restaurant, a view, something silly. Add a countdown. Planning the visit is half the joy of it.
Questions
How do you have a date in a long-distance relationship?
Do something together instead of only talking: paint a picture together, cook or eat at the same time, go for a walk on a call, or watch a film you picked for each other. A shared activity gives you something to remember.
What are free long-distance date ideas?
A walk with earphones in, looking at the same moon, a playlist of your week, a shared one-line diary, planning your next visit on a shared map, and painting a pixel picture together on PixyPlace are all free.
What can we do if our time zones barely overlap?
Pick dates you can do in turns: a shared world you each add to while the other sleeps, a one-line diary, letters, or a playlist you build over the week. Save the live dates for the weekend.
How often should long-distance couples have a date?
There's no rule, but something small every day plus one real date a week works for many couples. The small daily thing keeps you close; the weekly date gives you something to look forward to.
Have your first date tonight
Make a drawing room, send the link, and paint a picture together while you talk. It takes a minute to start and it's free.